How

In a state of confusion about where I'm supposed to be at or what I'm supposed to do. I will not say that this stress is pulling me down. But it's just much more complicated than that. To tell you the truth, I'm hurt. I'm hurt because they sounded supportive at first but right now, I just got this sinking feeling that they'll spit at my face 2 or 3 years down the road.

To think that has happened before, I would not want them to do it again with regards to something I'm passionate about. Knowing them, I'll know it will happen anyways and this is the exact reason it's making me feel like shit now.

I should feel proud but even if I wanted to feel happy, I honestly can't. They have other expectations of me. The only reason why they matter is because they're important to me. Familiar with the phrase, "Those who matter don't mind and, those who mind don't matter." I completely agree with it but I can't exactly apply it to this issue.

Because family who mind, will always matter.

The hurt is caused by the lack of support for me and speculating behind my back. I'm just intolerable of that behaviour and with regards to family, the tolerance level is shot further way down to below zero in all honesty.

So, that's why I just feel like shit.