Listened to a cover of Brandy's "Have you ever" by Matt Bloyd, Mario Jose and Vincint Cannady. And it made me weak. Sigh..
That special kind of love where one is desired emotionally, physically whatever, is not made for me. That kind of love hurts damn it, it hurts like shit.
I remember when I was desperate. When I was stupid. Honestly, love was something we all crave for whether we crave it secretly or out in the open. We all want it. It is the thing that fills our hearts up.
And every year, apparently there is this one day where we will surely feel alone when we would want someone to take care of us. The kind of care your family lacks in providing. That yearning unfortunately, crushes us to possibly one of our many lowest points.
We start building walls when people start taking advantage of that weak side of us. We build walls higher than the ozone layers up above. Believe me, the construction of these walls happen on their own, they don't need your conscience efforts for it to begin. It's not something we could stop either depending on the levels of impact the experience we face have on us. It's inevitable so don't beat yourself up.
Anyone who has the ability to break those walls may not always be the one. (Learnt that the hard way) "The one" meaning one who holds us when we break, one who protects us and ensures safety even when the walls are down. But if it's broken, things may wreck your anxiety system like shit. "At first you drown and you have to let yourself drown in it but after some time, you will start to swim." Then you'll become stronger than you were before.
What happens after is another cycle of heart cardio exercises when the next fall happens. And it will. Keep hope alive. Maintain the desperation and all will be good. May peace be with you. 😃
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