I dont intend to depend on others apart from myself but it seems like I can't do this. Maybe I want it easy, and probably that is why I dont deserve it. I'm afraid to go back. I'm afraid to feel trapped in a place I don't belong. Gotta earn a decent amount to put my parent's worries at bay. How do I libe like this? Society does a really good job at making me feel and look like a bum.
O my god, I cant believe I'm still here. Oh my god. This is truly heart wrenching. Very very painful. I can't push myself to do anything that will make me a better person than I was yesterday.
I can't do this. Oh my god, this is not going to be smooth sailing. Maybe I should also plan for my death. I can't live in covid times. This was hard. This is harder. Plus I wreck myself at any chance that I can get.
Why am I reasoning. Why am I reasoning. It shall be a secret one day. no ome will know. not even me. just close my eyes n it will all be over.
Im pretty sure I was cursed w this life.
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