Chicken Pox at 19 Y/O &%$$%#@%$^#$^!!

I had chicken pox at 19. really embarrassing. When has something not been embarrassing in my life?

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE IS TURNING INTO A NEVER ENDING WHIRLPOOL OF COMPLICATIONS AND FUCKS.

I wont even start to explain all that's happened. I don't wish to remember them all.

These few days being quarantined at home (listening to taylor swift) have made me realise the importance of knowing that I should be comfortable in whatever skin I'm in. Whether it's scaley, burnt or dry, I'm gonna live through it all. Although I'm not too sure how I'm gonna live with the scars. ALL of it.

So I'm right at home, and well, nothing much has happened, except I just know everything is going to be alright in the future. I really hope my life turns back to its normal, sufficiently bearable amount of stress kind-of-life.

Then again, I'm not a baby, after what I've been through I don't think I'll be sulking over many issues for now. Life is short. Really short.

0

Love Confession/ The End

It was a confession and also the end of what could have been the most beautiful relationship 30 to 40 years down the road.
I can't say all that's happened. But from my perspective of the whole thing. Even till now, it affects me so badly. Yet, only time can heal its wounds. And I gotta accept what was first for me would be the very last in my entire life. Because, face it Syazana, you' had countless opportunities, you blew every single one of them. Just because the vibe wasn't right. And you will keep doing that till one day the vibe is right when it always was. Trust in yourself is what you lack.
The countless number of excuses to cover up your real emotions. Hoping someone out there could read between the lines you speak, that's really realistic right, Syazana?
Self-Talk people... Its a coping strategy. Because reflecting on everything that has happened. You chose to immerse yourself in so many activities at one time. You face the consequences of having to understand every single situation at one time.
When I wasn't able to be empathetic about anything you were talking, somehow God was able to give me the exact real situations to happen within the shortest period of time.
On top of that, despite all that, it was all worthless. Every single attempt of mine has gone down the drain. 
Wanting to change into a better person. Well, you have, except you lose out so many.
I really hate myself. And I miss my Aunt. 

0