Omg I am stopping all these biblical posts I have been typing.
There is nothing wise in an empty-minded, lost soul like me. And that is okay. What's not okay is people telling me I shouldn't be okay. Because I should be chasing after things a normal person should. I will be the experiment for success. I will try everything and if I dont make it, that is all my life is for.
Will I be able to pull through what I just typed out above, or will I chicken out, like all the rest of the times I've chickened out. Can I stop chickening. It oh so sickening.
I wanna be part of disney. I wanna be part of cw series. I wanna be part of the things I love. When will my wishes come true?
When will I be happy? When will I stop yearning? I am crying, I am on my knees, I have no more hope that there is anything else that could make me happy. I wanna be happy with me.
I want to not depend on anyone but me.
Will you not grant me that?
Will you not grant these simple wishes of mine?
Or am I just not good enough?
Give me a sign so I know where the fuck I should put my heart at? Cos these tears are falling and I'm in the same single spot I was from the start.
Is no one there?
Am I left with me?
Then, please grant them. Don't leave me here... living. The least you could do is take away my pulse.
Every puff I take from my inhaler is a wish that it won't work, and that I would die. But I'm still alive, struggling to breathe, but with a pulse indeed.
Is no one there, Am I left with me.
Grant me my last wishes. Or end me please.
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